Friday, Jan. 21, 2005 12:11 a.m.

Empty
Today Kenneth is:

I can feel this all happening again.
Stepping in familiar territory that I don’t want to step in, my chest is tight and I can’t breathe right, I can’t stop pacing this room.
My mind is going around and around.
I want to take chase but I have to stay put, for my own sake I have to stay put and deal with Me.
I don’t know what I’m dealing with, I don’t know what I’m fighting.

How come I always look emotionless when it’s all building inside of me, bursting inside of me to get out.
How come when there are so many words to say, I can not squeeze them out.
For this to go completely wrong to change my life I would be another.
For this doesn’t make sense but to me it is a reality of the days events.

I don’t know what’s going on and I want for so much to get on my knees as seek God’s guidance, but I’m not even sure about that these days.

I just wanted some head time to myself tonight, on my own to work out what was wrong.
Now I feel that because that space was not there it could permanent.

This night is going to be sleepless, and I don’t know why…

There's so many things going on now, so many thoughts and feelings that didn't need to be there ...

Just because I’m listening to this on the radio

The Sun Always Shines On TV
By A-HA

Touch me
How can it be
Believe me
The sun always shines on T.V
Hold me
Close to your heart
Touch me
And give all your love to me
to me...

I Reached inside myself
And found nothing there
To ease the pressure off
My ever worrying mind
All my powers waste away
I fear the crazed and lonely looks
The mirror's sending me
These Days

Please don't ask me to defend
The shamefull lowlands
Of the way I'm drifting
Gloomily through time
(Touch me)
I reached inside myself today
(Give all your love)
Thinking there's got to be some way
To keep my troubles distant


Hold me
Close to your heart
Touch me
And give all your love to me, to me...