Tuesday, Jan. 25, 2005 10:58 p.m.

Ordinary World
Today Kenneth is:

Today has been ok.
MJ and I had a talk last night about things.
She put it to me about the “little one” we are trying for that her Mum said for her to have the baby at her parent’s house and her and little one stay there for two years.
We didn’t say much on it last night but I thought long and hard about it and decided I had something to say after I gathered my thoughts together.

I told her that I would support her if that is what she really wanted and I would be there, but not as her partner.
I couldn’t cope with that, if she stayed there I would miss out on two years of our child’s life, and so much happens in those two years.
First step, first crawl, first word sort of thing.
I’d feel really left out and I felt that if that happened we should be with each other, because it’s not fair on me as a Father and her, or the child.
She understood and she said it wasn’t what she was quite planning but understood where I was coming from.

I said that I knew it was selfish to say but it was something that I thought I needed to say to her

Of that subject, isn’t it funny how we try and adapt ourselves to make other people happy.
You spend time building walls saying that you’re going to look after yourself, and then someone you once cared for a long time ago asks something of you and you fall about over yourself trying to sort it out.
Why I don’t know, maybe it’s because of love that once was there, maybe the love is still there.
No I’m not talking about any one in particular, it’s just something I’ve been thinking about lately.

Anyway I have to go to bed have to go to the hospital tomorrow. Oh yeah Happy Burns Night by the way