Monday, Sept. 05, 2005 12:31 p.m.

Eyes Of The Truth
Today Kenneth is:

Everything to me, means nothing without you.

You know now I've come to sit down, I dont know what the hell it is that I want to type.
I feel like whatever cionfidence was there. Isnt any more.
I know I have this wonderful habit of when I'm in peoples company, I'm competely fine, and I function well, even if your insides are going Oh my god, Im going insane in here
Hmmm had a bit of a shity weekend.
MJ and I aren't speaking to each other right now, she said something that really broke my heart at the weekend. Maybe she didnt mean it to, but it really broke my heart.
I'm kinda sitting here shaking myself out of my daze, its like I'm not there anymore, that the me inside myself just packed up his stuff and moved out.
I really should say something, I know. But I just can't, I want so much for us to stay together and make it work, that I'm scared to death to say how I feel right now that it kills our relationship dead in the water.

God I'm so chocked up right now, and its only fucking Monday, got a whole week of smiley face routine to do for 8hours of the day. What I could really do with is taking the week off and .. I dont know. Anyway I've heard its better to keep busy than not.

Anyway I dont want to write nothing more, I know how black and white words can appear on paper until someone is actually saying them to you.
Typed words are just empty of emotion, feelings and love.
I gotta go to work, Just me on shift tonight, my work collegue for the night shifts is off this week.

Tonight when I get home, I need to start work on a new layout for this diary, if I only manage to get the HTML down then thats a start, I'll build the graphics another day